Ten Do's And Don'ts About Writing Personals Ads Remember, What You Write In A Personal Ad/Profile Should Maximise Your Compatible Responses.

Yes, increasing the raw numbers is a goal here also, but quality counts too. The way you represent yourself and your desires has a lot to do with the possibilities you create - or destroy - for yourself. The following real-life personal ads (some good, some bad, and some totally ineffectual) we hope will help you learn the elements of a perfect profile.

1. Never Degenerate The Opposite Sex

Don't Example "I'm looking for that rare woman who can carry on an intelligent conversation" Who wants a bitter man or an angry woman? Someone who uses a personal ad to assassinate the character of an entire sex is simply advertising future conflict. Don't ever forget that your ad reveals what you're like to be with.

2. Be Positive

Don't Example "Sick of the bars and cokeheads and singles scene headtrips? We've got something in common already" Uh-oh. Where do you think this guy has been hanging out? He obviously has more than passing familiarity with drugs and bars himself. He has effectively repelled any intelligent woman who might read this ad. Leave out the bitter clichés. Also, when crafting a personal ad, write in terms of what you want, rather than what you are trying to avoid. When people say they are "tired of the bar scene" or request "no losers, please," they are revealing a life experience of disappointment. Attraction works better than avoidance (except, of course, with barflies and losers).

3. Use Your Sense Of Humor

Do Example "Exile from a sweeter wilder planet seeks delicious woman to share the adventure and mayhem of Earth" I assume that fun is part of your plan for dating or mating? By all means, find some way to show that.

4. Keep Expectations Realistic

Don't Example "I need love. Problem is I just can't find love. I'm looking for the drop dead, fine blonde with the great body and rocket science mind" The point here? The purpose of a personal profile is to attract the maximum number of responses that are in the ballpark of compatibility. You are not soliciting marriage proposals here. You have to summon a few choices before you make one. And how you represent yourself is directly related to what you attract.

5. Identify Needs And Wants

Don't Example "I donknow what to say I dontlike talking about myself not really sure what I wants, im sortafa coochpotato IDO LIKE SINCFICTION THOGH" I wish I could say appearance doesn't matter in cyberspace. But it does, especially the appearance of words. Almost everybody has spellcheck on their computer and they should use it. Illiteracy doesn't play well in a computer-mediated social world. And if you can't think of anything to say about yourself and what you want...spend more time thinking. Before you write your profile, think about what you just have to have in a relationship and what is negotiable under the right circumstances. Then, keep the balance of your profile focused on preferences, with less attention on your absolute requirements for a life partner.

6. Share What You Love In Life

Do Example "Rugged attractive type of guy 55, accountant by trade, fun-seeker by advocation, wanting a smart, sporty lady to share golf, sailing, love of dogs. I'm optimistic by nature and require the same" The word "fun" never hurts in a personal ad, especially if you are specific about your fun methods. Your passions and pleasures are what you have to share with someone on a date or in a marriage. Whether your favourite pastime is bungee cord jumping or stamp collecting or watching snow fall, sharing it speaks worlds about you without endangering your anonymity. Yes, women are also interested in what men do for a living. And a guy who can speak up for his best qualities immediately attracts positive attention.

7. Share At Least One Tiny Dream

Do example "Lovely lady seeking suave gentleman to take the lead on the dance floor. I love to dance, but I don't know how Teach me." Still can't think of anything? Share at least one tiny dream. Are there things you've always wanted to do but haven't experienced yet? Opening the door to fresh experiences is critical when you are seeking new love.

8. Honesty Is The Best Policy

Do Example "Bilingual Montreal divorcee 52yo, seeking man about the same age. I'm 5'4 with shoulder length auburn hair brown eyes I am also queen sized, very well proportioned, and very cute" Yes, you can describe yourself honestly and positively at the same time. Learning how to tell the truth well is a good idea. There are plenty of men who like generously-sized women, but none of them like dishonesty. And showing a sense of fun and humor is desired whenever possible. Also try to provide enough concrete information about yourself to paint a picture of a real person. According to surveys, the first thing most men want to read in a personal ad is a woman's location and physical description. Age and true marital status are also essential.

9. Put Your Best Foot Forward

Don't Example "I'm newly divorced 43 yo woman who was physically and emotionally abused for over 20 years. I really need someone who will treat me kindly" How about a therapist? No kidding, presenting yourself as broken will not attract healthy suitors, but it will alert the charming predators and chronic co-dependents in the area that there is fresh blood about. Don't limp into a personal ad dragging your wing. This is an "advertisement," remember? Provide your "audience" with reasons why they should want to know you.

10. Place Your Ad What's next?

Do Example Now that you've crafted the perfect profile, don't forget the next step. Introduce yourself to others, and begin forming acquaintances on which to build.